I feel like ranting right now while the feeling of hatred and anger is still so fresh. I know myself - I will feel so forgiving after a good sleep.
So now, let me start. Read if you want or not. Either, I don't care at all. Doesn't matter to me anyway.
I'm so pissed(as usual). I do not like coming home. Even if I do come home, early, I will just lock myself in my room half-naked enjoying the coolness by the air-conditioner after being cooked under the hot sun for 12 hours plus-plus-plus. Maybe sleep, dance(madly), listen to radio/albums and not doing school related stuff. That's the reason why I have to do them in library. I know I can't do them at home with the temptations of a bed, dvd player, air-conditioner and my comfy nice-smelling bolster. (:
That wasn't ranting was it? Let me start again.
I hate coming home because I have nothing productive to do. Nobody is worth entertaining than myself and the two other rascals. I hate my maid - a bitch. I'd rather be outside and feel like a loner than being at home feeling like a loser. I'll be able to enjoy the outside world while it lasts. I wouldn't get pissed with the people at home. I don't have to face things I hate.
I wouldn't create much sins outside as I create at home.
In short, home never feels like home. I'll only look forward to people of my flesh and blood. Others? They're just outsiders. Mum's husband? He's just a pain in the ass. Always getting on my nerve. Mum always try to plant all the good things he has done to me. I will never appreciate them. Never. It's not worth it after all. He would just be such a jerk all over again. Mum doesn't know how I feel. Never ever. I feel like I'm losing her. 24/7 with her damn shop. Home for only 5 hours. Most of the time spent for sleeping. I don't even think I have an hour with her on weekdays. I know she is earning the money for me. I freaking as hell understand.
Why do I have to understand people around me? Why can't they just understand me first? Why? Why? Why?
I'm not so easy.
